How Can I Help Someone Who is Misusing Drugs or Alcohol?

The person staggering around in the street has clearly had more than a few to drink and you silently wish them a safe journey home and hope they’ll wake up tomorrow in one piece and having done no harm to anyone else.

The teenager buying some gum and a pack of salty snacks is trying to act normal but has forgotten what normal is. They’re clearly on another planet through some drug or other, and you wonder why they do it and wish they wouldn’t because it makes you uneasy – these people can be unpredictable.

You say nothing because if someone is misusing drugs or alcohol it’s none of your business, but what if one of these guys was a friend or a family member? Then you might feel a responsibility to do something about it. But how, exactly?

Australians in general are becoming more aware of the dangers of alcohol and drug misuse, and most of us try to keep ourselves in check, rather than other people. Others only come into our area of responsibility when we know them personally and care about them.

You won’t necessarily see them out in the wild, fuelled up and having what they may regard as a good time, but you may see them at home, drinking at times of day and to an extent that you know isn’t good for them. Drug and alcohol abuse is a broad field, so a youngster may be doing anything from smoking cannabis to sniffing glue, with a whole range of names like ecstasy and crystal meth in between. It may be having an effect on their behaviour, their appearance and their performance at school or work.

In these circumstances, you feel you should step in and help, but you don’t want to be the goody-goody, the spoilsport, Captain Sensible who doesn’t know how to have a good time.

This is where you have to have the courage of your convictions. You know they’re harming themselves and possibly other people, so if someone is misusing alcohol or drugs, you should help them.

Don’t Let Alcohol or Drug Misuse go Unchallenged

Letting a user carry on like this is not doing them a favour, so the first step in helping them is to show you have noticed. And you’re not impressed.

Where and When Should I Approach Someone About Alcohol or Drug Misuse?

Do it in a private place, so it’s just between you and them, not shared with the whole world. And do it when they’re sober. Drugs alter people’s mental state, and when you bring up this very sensitive subject, you want them as clear-headed as possible. Telling a drunk that they’re drunk can be received like one big joke – or it can be like a red rag to a bull. Either way, it’s not going to be like sitting down with the person you know and love underneath the cloak of intoxication.

Should I Lay Down the Law About This or be Gentle?

Gentle but firm is the way. Don’t lecture them or label them as an alcoholic or drug addict. You’re drawing to their attention that you know what’s going on and you want to help them. Sure, they may see you as a goody-goody. But if you’re successful in helping them, you’re going to be the person who had the guts to broach the subject. And who cares about a drunken or stoned opinion? It’s just better not to rattle their cage. Some people get defensive, and others get hostile – in which case get yourself to safety. You need to remain calm and make sure they know you care about them.

Should I Outline Some House Rules?

If the user lives with you or spends time under your roof, you’re entitled to tell them what you expect and what you won’t tolerate. Your house, your rules, there’s nothing wrong with that.

In the same way as children benefit from having boundaries, so users can actually appreciate knowing what they can and cannot do when they’re with you. Users often have a sensible streak within that makes them want to clean up their act, but it gets pushed aside by their drug of choice.

At What Point Should I Pass Them on to a Body That Helps People with Alcohol or Drug Abuse?

You are going to need some help with this, so do some research and get some numbers for them to call and websites to check out. In addition to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous, there are self-help addiction groups, online counselling services, substance abuse therapy and organisations that specialise in particular drugs, so familiarise yourself with some of these. Your user is going to have to do it themselves in the end, but there are plenty of people who want to help. It starts with you but doesn’t end there.