As a working mother, there are frequently moments when I feel stretched. Whilst I have the privilege of running my own business and within that dictating my own hours, life doesn’t always go to plan.
The question I often sit with is…”how do I make all of this work and still feel whole?” And at the end of the day, I am struck by it all coming down to the quality of the moments throughout the busyness of life.
How is it that I am meeting these moments? Am I meeting the moments full of expectation or assumption? Or can I sufficiently let go of my belief and desire to ensure that I can simply meet what is.
As I write this, I think about the slumber party we hosted recently to celebrate our youngest’s birthday. After a fun night of glow stick disco, and murder in the dark, at 11:50pm it was now well past bed time and the twitter of voices was still echoing through the house.
I go to the bedroom and look through the door, with fluffy toys and fairy lights abound, I see a bunch of little bodies snuggled up in their sleeping bags. Yes it is true I would love to be asleep right now, but taking in this sight, I can not help but be delighted in their fun and excitement.
Once more I suggest that it would be a good time to go to sleep. But really at the end of the day what does it matter? Yes they will be tired in the morning and so will I, but how precious are these experiences of bonding and shared experience!
We all fall asleep eventually. The next night as I am tucking our youngest into bed, again she says “thank you so much Mummy, I had such a fun birthday”… and again the warmth and delight is ignited for both of us.
Another of our children is keen to get to the next level on Pokemon Go. He invites me on a walk around our neighbourhood in order to hatch one of his prized eggs. I look at the pile of washing that needs to get done and wonder about the sanity of the conversations that will be had.
Washing aside, we head out into the winter’s afternoon light. He puts his arm through mine and together we comment how lovely it is to be out in the cool winter’s day. Sure we have conversations about Kangashkans and Bulbasaurs, that really in any other world would make no sense at all, but you know what…I am with my boy, we are together, outside, sharing a moment…it is all ok.
Whilst it is never this simple and I often lose my way in the overwhelming demands of family life…I work hard to remind myself to actively meet these moments of richness…
And if I am lucky enough, somebody might even put a load of washing on along the way!
(At The Grove we specialise in working with families. Sarah Sacks is one of our therapists, who actively supports parents, couples and individuals. As a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, she takes a holistic approach to counselling, empowering her clients to find life.)
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