What is Psychotherapy and how it can help us?

This is a fabulous video that explains what psychotherapy is and how it can help us discover greater ease in life.

Located in St Kilda East, at The Grove Counselling we offer counselling support for children, teens, adults and couples.

If you haven’t sought therapy before, it can be hard to know what approach might suit you.  To help you in that process, BOOK here for a FREE 30 min CONSULT today.

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Sarah Sacks

Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

How you can make the most of therapy.

Opening the doors to 'therapy gold'...

Whether you are new to therapy or not, sometimes it can be hard to know how to get the best out of the therapy experience.  This article is designed to help make that path a little bit easier.  Here are some tips...

  1. Be on time ... in fact be EARLY
    • Have you noticed how your therapy hour can take a while to get into on those days that you are rushing?  
    • The more at ease we are in ourselves, the more likely we will be able to connect to the emerging parts of our experience.  In therapy, when clients connect to previously elusive experiences of self...those 'aha moments'... we consider it 'therapy gold', this is where the deep understanding and shifts can happen
    • Depending on the therapist and the set up of the practice, if you arrive late, often your therapy hour will be cut short by that amount.  It can take time to relax enough to be able to get to the 'gold'.  The shorter your session, the less likely you will have time to connect to it.
    • Give your self time to settle before entering your therapy hour.  Take advantage of those quite spaces and those cups of tea on offer.  There is a reason that your waiting room has been set up this way.
  2. Access all the resources provided
    • Your therapist is there to help you find your own way forward.  Along the way they are likely to mention resources you can access.  
    • Many practices will have a Facebook or other social media page, teaming with relevant and very accessible articles.  Often these pages are being very specifically curated with their client base in mind.  Take time to LIKE the practice social media page and keep abreast of articles they are posting.
    • Other practices may also have active blogs on their websites.  Again take some time to seek these out and read what your therapist is writing about.  The blogs are essentially bonus time with your therapist.
  3. Leave your outside world just there...OUTSIDE
    • Generally our clients come to therapy because the outside world has become too much for them in some way.  
    • With the advances of modern technology, it has become harder and harder for all of us to leave our outside world, outside.  Therapy is about being with our inside world.  
    • Once you step into the practice, turn off your phone and all other devices.  
    • Put the to-do list and the work away, and give yourself permission to simply be there for you.
  4. Reflect - before, during & after
    • Therapy is a time for reflection and making sense of our worlds
    • Many a therapist would say, that as much therapy happens in between sessions as it does in the hour that you are in the room
    • To what degree this occurs, largely depends on how much you reflect on what is happening in your life
    • Allow yourself time for reflection BEFORE and AFTER your therapy session.  
    • Think about what has been going on in your life before your session.  This is where having some quiet time in the waiting room can be useful.
    • Going straight on to a call or meetings, after you step out of the therapy room, is not recommended.  Instead give yourself some buffer time, post session.  Go for walk, return to the waiting room, go to a quiet cafe and reflect on what unfolded in your session.
    • Journal - the clients who spend time journalling as a means of reflection after and in between sessions, invariably gain a lot more depth from their therapy experience.  Journaling like art making, can be way to help us make sense of our worlds.
  5. Commit to your therapy appointments
    • Therapy needs momentum to be effective.
    • You may be busy, but at the same time you want change in your life
    • This will be more easily enabled if you are prepared to commit the therapy experience.  
    • To help achieve this, often therapists will recommend you see them weekly for a time and then gradually space out your appointments as the strength of the therapeutic relationship has been established.
    • For many committing to a specific time and day that they attend therapy can also help strengthen the therapy experience.
  6. Find a time for sessions that offers you both space and presence
    • Choose a time to attend therapy that will not require you to be rushing off to a meeting or a child's basketball practice immediately afterwards
    • Nor choose a time that you are likely to too tired or exhausted by the fill of the day
    • Therapy is hard work and needs your time and attention
  7. Choose a therapist that is good match for you
  8. Make space for an ending to your work 
    • Unfortunately this is often a critical part of the work that is missed.
    • Therapy can be a process of opening and understanding.  
    • Therapy can also be a reformulation of experiences around endings, particularly in relationships - both how you are treated and how you are experienced by others, in relationships
    • If you are feeling that you are reaching a place of finishing your therapy, speak about it - your therapist is likely thinking along a similar line
    • To really honour yourself and the therapy you have done, work with your therapist to make space and time to bring the process to a close.  
    • This can be quite a life changing step for many clients.
    • When our door to therapy has been closed with care and consideration, there can be great ease in knowing we can safely re-open it again at anytime in the future.

Wishing you all the best in your therapy journey and your endeavour to open the door to 'therapy gold'.

To determine whether one of our therapists at The Grove might be a good fit for you, BOOK here for a FREE 30 min CONSULT today.

     

    (Bringing mindfulness to much of her work, Sarah Sacks is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, practicing from The Grove Counselling & Therapy in St Kilda Melbourne 03-9532-4567.  Taking a holistic approach to both individual and couples counseling, Sarah works to empower her clients to find greater ease and richness in life.)

    Comment

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    7 mindful steps to finding the right therapist for you

    Deciding to work with a therapist is often a big decision ... 

    And then once the decision has made to seek help, it can be a daunting task to find a therapist that is right for you.

    In this article, we identify seven steps to help you find the therapist that is more likely to meet your needs.

    1.    Seek a therapist that has expertise in your area of struggle.

    Often therapists will become known for their work in specific areas of therapy.  If you have a sense that you may be experiencing symptoms of anxiety or perhaps are struggling in your relationship, seek a therapist that specializes in these areas.

    ·      What do you suspect is going on for you that is contributing to your distress? 

    2.    Consider the location – will this be a barrier or an enabler to your engagement?

    ·      If your therapist is easy to reach from work or home, are you much more likely to be able to arrive to the session feeling open and relaxed? 

    ·      Or for you, will your worry about being recognized in the neighbourhood impact your willingness to attend sessions and so therefore do you appreciate a location that is a distance from your home or work. 

    ·      Or do you travel a lot or live remotely, and therefore is it more important to you that your therapist has the flexibility to work with you via an on via an online platform, as well is in person when you are local?

    ·      How important is access to public transport or ease of parking?

    3.    Think about the therapy environment – what do you need to feel at ease?

    Take a moment to consider how your state of mind impacts your ability to experience the world.  Just like in life, the more at ease we are in our state of mind, the more likely we are to be able to engage in the therapy experience.  Thinking about this, what contributes to greater ease of mind for you?  Inquire about these elements when considering your choice.

    ·      Does it matter to you if the practice feels warm and calm vs clinical and busy?

    ·      Is the thought of seeing others waiting in reception terrifying to you? 

    ·      Does a sense of privacy contribute to your feeling of ease or are you very comfortable with your decision to seek help? 

    ·      Would you like a space that you could quietly sit and reflect before or after your session to help you process your experiences? 

    4.    Is the therapist open to your of thinking about the world?

    It is important that we do not feel judged in therapy.  If for example, you identify as a part of the LGBT community or perhaps spirituality significantly contributes to how you understand experience…is the therapist open to your viewpoint and do they have expertise in this area? 

    ·      Have a think about what is important to you and check with the therapist if they are comfortable and experienced in working with your perspective. 

    5.    What hours do they work, what is their availability, how hard is it to book?

    Once we make the decision to seek therapy, often we just want to get on with it.  For therapy to be most effective it is important to be able to attend relatively regularly, particularly in the initial stages.  Feel into your own schedule, what will work for you...?

    ·      Does the therapist work when you would be free to attend sessions?

    ·      Does the therapist have availability? 

    ·      How hard is it to secure ongoing appointments with the therapist?

    ·      Can you book online with the therapist , particularly if your schedule is quite changeable ?

    6.    Recommendations – ask the right people for suggestions.

    Sometimes it can be hard to admit we need support and then when we do, who do we ask for recommendation?  Think carefully about whom you might ask and if you feel they can truly hold your best interests at heart.

    ·      Maybe you found a therapist that you liked, but they were full or their practice was too far away, ask the therapist for recommendations.

    ·      Do you have a trusted friend or professional in your network, that both knows you well, holds a similar perspective to life and ideally could speak from his or her own experience of therapy? 

    ·      Compare the recommendations you receive with what you learn online about the therapist...does this feel consistent?

    7.    Take some time to engage with the therapist and 'be with' your responses.

    Research consistently shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship contributes significantly to therapy success.  As a therapist it is our job to set you up for this success.  

    Visit the therapist’s website, read their promotional material and read their blogs. Take the time to make some calls and check in with how you are feel about your alignment with your short list of therapists.  Ask yourself...

    ·      Is the therapist willing to make time to speak to you, before you book a paid appointment or are you struggling to get past the receptionist or perhaps even have the therapist return your calls?

    ·      Does the therapist seem genuinely interested in what you are sharing?

    ·      Do you feel like the therapist understands your distress? 

    ·      Does the therapist appear sufficiently trained and experienced to support you?

    ·      Having connected with the therapist, do you feel a sense of hope? 

    Give yourself space to sit quietly, check in with your body… does all the information you have gathered feel like a good fit for you? 

    If you haven’t sought therapy before, it can be hard to know what you might help help you decide who is the right therapist for you.  This article is designed to help make that path a little bit easier.

     

    To determine whether one of our therapists at The Grove might be a good fit for you, BOOK here for a FREE 30 min Consult today.

    (Bringing mindfulness to much of her work, Sarah Sacks is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, practicing from The Grove Counselling & Therapy in St Kilda Melbourne 03-9532-4567.  Taking a holistic approach to both individual and couples counseling, Sarah works to empower her clients to find greater ease and richness in life.)

    2 Comments

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    Mothers teach us how to be ...

    Thinking of the generations of mothers... past, present and future... on this mother's day ....

    buttered toast and clothes warmed by the fire on a winter’s morning

    the pain of adolescence felt

    the posy of flowers at my bedside as I nurse a broken heart

    long distance phone calls to share news of adventures

    overwhelming love for my precious newborn

    exhaustion at the mindless mess of toys and washing

    unspoken pain at the taunts you feel

    superhuman strength as I reach to protect you

    forgiveness for the harsh words in rage

    confusion at what you ask of me

    acceptance of who you are becoming

    laughter in those silly moments of dancing after dinner

    tears of grief as you walk out the door to meet the world

    growth and re-discovery as the house quietens

    laughter and adventure with my love

    caring for those who cared for me

    greying hair

    quiet nights

    cups of tea

    mothers teach us how to be

     

    Wishing everyone a happy mother's day...

     

    (Sarah Sacks is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, practicing from The Grove Counselling & Therapy in St Kilda Melbourne.  Inspired by the potential of relationships, Sarah works to empower her clients to find greater ease and richness in life.)

    If you feel you would like to talk to someone, in person or via Skype, please contact us at +61-03-9532-4567 / info@thegrovecounselling.com

    or Go to Online BOOKING and book a session with one of our therapists...

    Comment

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    Investing in our Relationships

    Recently I was working with a couple who were shocked to realize that to improve their relationship with their adolescent son, it would require more of an investment than just simply the weekly family therapy session.

    I find this is a common misconception about therapy and about relationships generally.  

    Regardless of the type of relationship, if we want it to work we have to put the time in.  

    The more we 'show up', the more we get out of the experience.

    But what does 'showing up' really mean?

    Is it enough to be there at my kid’s soccer game with my head still at work?

    How about scooting into my therapy session in the nick of time, having just gotten off a conference call on the way in?

    Or what about going on dinner date with my partner, but all the while sharing only what I think he wants to hear?

    Yes, making the time to be with another, is absolutely an essential part of making relationships work.

    But the question becomes ‘how much of you is really there?’

    ‘What quality of presence are you bringing to the situation?’

    With the notifications of modern technology constantly beeping in our pockets, it can be hard not to let another world into the moment in front of us...

    “But Mum, I hurt my knee today”, your child says, as you are checking your email on your smartphone at school pickup.

    Do we finish what we were doing and tell her that you will look at her knee when you get home?

    Or do we put the phone aside, drop to her height and looking into her eyes, ask her to tell you how it happened and how she is feeling now?

    Whilst on paper it may seem obvious which response you would like to believe you would choose, what can we do to ensure that it really is how we do respond?

    Take time to cultivate presence for yourself now and throughout your day inviting presence to your own experience.

    Stop scanning this article

    Slow down and read the words, line for line,

    Feel your feet on the ground

    Feel your body in the position that it is holding right now

    Notice the quality of the light around you falling on your skin

    Notice your surroundings, the noises, the structures, the surfaces, your environment

    Notice those in your life that support you

    Notice your breath moving in and out of your body in its own way

    And take a moment to simply be in all of your experience

    As you read this line and the next

    Give yourself a minute to notice how it is to have presence with self

    In finding presence with self, we can develop in our capacity to have presence with other.

    So next time you have a therapy session or you are meeting your sweet heart after work, prepare yourself throughout the day, taking a minute to find presence for self. 

    When it comes to the moment before connecting with this person, in the waiting room or in the restaurant, again invite this presence with self.

    In offering this way of being to your meeting, watch the magic of presence unfold.

    Relationships are about the quality of presence that we bring to each other.

    Invest in your relationships.

    Invest in presence with self.

    (Bringing mindfulness to much of her work, Sarah Sacks is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, practicing from The Grove Counselling & Therapy in St Kilda Melbourne.  Taking a holistic approach to both individual and couples counseling, Sarah works to empower her clients to find greater ease and richness in life.)

    If you feel you would like to talk to someone about relationships in your life, please contact us at 9532-4567 / info@thegrovecounselling.com

    or Go to Online BOOKING and book a FREE Online Consult with one of our therapists...

    Comment

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    What is my anger telling me?

    More than two years ago my father died.  His death was the long slow decline of old age.  It was as if over time his body gradually stopped working.  Over the years and months, we sat with him, shared stories with him, cared for him as the end came closer. 

    He planned his funeral nominating music and the party that would follow.  We talked about how he wanted Mum to be looked after. 

    But we never talked about how much we would miss each other.  Instead we argued! 

    We argued about his wish that I did not speak at his funeral, because he didn’t want me to be a sobbing mess up there in front of all of those people.  Mumbling something about seeing that happen at other funerals, and it always being so hard for him to watch, the anger flared.

    Out of love he didn’t want that level of distress for me, nor for others in the crowd. 

    All too painful!

    But you see life is painful. 

    And in this case, it was the beauty of our love for one another, which I desperately wanted to speak about.

    If we think about anger as often being a secondary emotion, designed to shield us from the pain of experience. 

    We can see what was happening here.

    It was all too painful to share how much we would miss each other and to face the unknowns of death.  So instead we argued about whether or not, I would share this truth with others after he was gone.

    How hard it can be to be with love, loss and the unknown.

    Everyday in my work as a therapist, I sit with people facing the pain of life.  And yet when it was my turn, it was not beyond my awareness of how I was struggling to be with the truth of my own father’s dying.

    Culturally we are discouraged from meeting pain, but is that, to deny ourselves the opportunity to experience the exhilaration of meeting life?

    In the end we were able to recognise what was happening and we settled on being close to one another.  Our bodies knew the language of our relational experience. 

    Next time you experience yourself or someone else being angry, perhaps wonder if there is possibly a deeper emotion here that is hard to be with? 

    Consider these stages:

    • Opening – to the possibility of uncomfortable emotion
    • Acceptance – give permission for it to be there
    • Compassion – making space for the foibles of our humanity
    • Connection – opening to deeper relationships with self and other

    And in doing so you may come in contact with the exhilaration of meeting life.

    In those last few minute as he exhaled his last breaths, I finally found the courage let him go. 

    His death was raw and in its truth quite beautiful.

    Finding the space to sit with the pain and beauty of life and death, there was no longer anger, just love.

    Anger is an important emotion, it can tell us a lot.

    When you next experience anger, I invite you to give it permission to be there and in your sitting with it, ponder whether it may be telling you something more.

    What is your anger telling you?

     

    (Sarah Sacks is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, who works from her practice in St Kilda East, Melbourne.  Taking a holistic approach to counseling, Sarah works to empower her clients to find their own unique path to understanding.)

    If you feel you would like to talk to someone about your experience of anger in your life, please contact us at 9532-4567 / info@thegrovecounselling.com

    or Go to Online BOOKING and book a FREE Online Consult with one of our therapists...

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Comment

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    The richness of life...and leaving the washing for another day!

    As a working mother, there are frequently moments when I feel stretched.  Whilst I have the privilege of running my own business and within that dictating my own hours, life doesn’t always go to plan. 

    The question I often sit with is…”how do I make all of this work and still feel whole?” And at the end of the day, I am struck by it all coming down to the quality of the moments throughout the busyness of life. 

    How is it that I am meeting these moments?  Am I meeting the moments full of expectation or assumption?  Or can I sufficiently let go of my belief and desire to ensure that I can simply meet what is.

    As I write this, I think about the slumber party we hosted recently to celebrate our youngest’s birthday.  After a fun night of glow stick disco, and murder in the dark, at 11:50pm it was now well past bed time and the twitter of voices was still echoing through the house.

    I go to the bedroom and look through the door, with fluffy toys and fairy lights abound, I see a bunch of little bodies snuggled up in their sleeping bags.  Yes it is true I would love to be asleep right now, but taking in this sight, I can not help but be delighted in their fun and excitement. 

    Once more I suggest that it would be a good time to go to sleep.  But really at the end of the day what does it matter?  Yes they will be tired in the morning and so will I, but how precious are these experiences of bonding and shared experience! 

    We all fall asleep eventually.  The next night as I am tucking our youngest into bed, again she says “thank you so much Mummy, I had such a fun birthday”… and again the warmth and delight is ignited for both of us.

    Another of our children is keen to get to the next level on Pokemon Go.  He invites me on a walk around our neighbourhood in order to hatch one of his prized eggs.  I look at the pile of washing that needs to get done and wonder about the sanity of the conversations that will be had.

    Washing aside, we head out into the winter’s afternoon light.  He puts his arm through mine and together we comment how lovely it is to be out in the cool winter’s day.  Sure we have conversations about Kangashkans and Bulbasaurs, that really in any other world would make no sense at all, but you know what…I am with my boy, we are together, outside, sharing a moment…it is all ok. 

    Whilst it is never this simple and I often lose my way in the overwhelming demands of family life…I work hard to remind myself to actively meet these moments of richness…

    And if I am lucky enough, somebody might even put a load of washing on along the way!

    (At The Grove we specialise in working with families.  Sarah Sacks is one of our therapists, who actively supports parents, couples and individuals.  As a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, she takes a holistic approach to counselling, empowering her clients to find life.)

    Go to Online BOOKING and book a FREE Online Consult with one of our therapists

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    Comment

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    How to be with the uncomfortable parts of self...and my love of brownies!

    So I lost my nerve with my writing.  It has been months since I have pondered my experience of the world on the page. Something about ‘that is not how it is done’ became a bigger voice than I could battle.  So rather than battling, I let it have its rein for a while.  I sat with it, I wondered and I discovered a little wounded part of self, who believed she was never good enough.  We became friends, we played games, and rather than trying to convince each other who was right and who was wrong, we eventually chose to accept one another for all of the messiness and the incompleteness that we are.

    In amongst all of that, I travelled to the UK, I presented at a conference about the qualities of authentic relationship. I was honest, I was raw, I was vulnerable.  Turns out people liked what I had to say. 

    Ultimately we are all vulnerable

    Ultimately we are all vulnerable.  And so often we work really really hard to protect our vulnerable parts of self getting hurt.  So hard sometimes that in the process we hurt and confuse ourselves and others. But in relationship it is our preparedness to be vulnerable, to own our craggy and saggy bits, that can make us all the more loveable. 

    The more we can own and take responsibility for those messy or yet to be fully developed parts of self, the safer the other feels in relationship with us.  Said in a slightly different way…the more we own our stuff, the less likely we are to project it on to the other, and in turn the more at ease they feel with us.

    So how do we do this?  How do we own our stuff?

    How do we own our own stuff?

    Yes, it is easier said than done.  Because you see, our stuff, can often be those things that contribute to us feeling uncomfortable, anxious, afraid or even ashamed. 

    These are difficult feelings.  This stuff is not so easy to be with.  And our very clever psyche will do anything it can to help us not feel the discomfort and the pain of that experience. 

    Instead we might find ourselves, making inappropriate quips about some one else, having another brownie or glass of wine, or perhaps even withdrawing so much that we feel we are not there in the conversation.

    Now don’t get me wrong, I am definitely a fan of brownies.  But we all know there are times that we engage in behaviours that somehow don’t feel directly linked to the core feeling.

    1. An attitude of gentle curiosity

    So to start, we invite ourselves to bring an attitude of gentle curiosity.  Without judgement or demand, this curiosity is simply and invitation to begin to wonder what accompanies this feeling…in this case, my desire for the second brownie.

    2. We ground ourselves into the here and now

    I take a moment, I invite my body to feel itself sitting in the chair, and to feel the feet on the floor.  I remind my body that I am right here right now.  I look around and invite my body to take in the surroundings, to notice the time of day, to take a gentle breath…and for a moment I invite a wondering around this feeling of wanting a second brownie?  Logically I know we have had a satisfying meal, but there is something more here…

    As I sit with this a little longer, I am transported back in time, to when I was a child.  Dinner with the family had been a tense affair and now it was time for dessert, when all wounds would be smoothed over with sweetness. 

    3. We sit with our experience  

    I note the correlation.   In this reality we are sitting around the table after dinner.  Navigating the adolescent banter and fractured emotions of growing bodies, dinner tonight had also been a tense affair…but of a very different nature.  At this dinner table, I did not fear being shamed.  At this dinner table, everybody had a place and space to be. 

    4. We invite self understanding & self compassion

    I take a moment to be with this wounded part of my young self.  And in being with my childhood body memory, I note an ease that comes over my experience.  The driving desire for the second brownie dissipates.  And I note I am more able to take on the love and the warmth of the family around the table.

    5. We live in the richness of life

    After dinner, my arms open more widely, and the hugs are felt more fully.

    We move into a group clean up session, followed by a post dinner family dance off.

    Our preparedness to be vulnerable ... can make us all the more loveable

    Paradoxical isn’t it.  We fight to disown and veil our vulnerable bits, yet it is in our capacity to really own the truth of our fear / hurt / pain, that makes us more attractive to ourselves and to another.

    In summary, I am back writing, exploring what I know theoretically, but most importantly experientially. I share these little stories, as a way to normalize the complexity and the richness of the human experience. 

    And now to making some more brownies!  

    (Sarah Sacks is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, who works from her practice in St Kilda East, Melbourne.  Taking a holistic approach to counseling, Sarah works to empower her clients to find their own path to understanding.)

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    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    Reconnecting to Life with Wholebody Focusing

    Wholebody Focusing can transform your life.  If you would like to learn more about how this practice can help you feel empowered, more satisfied in your relationships and more engaged in life, watch this short 2 minute video...

    (This video was designed and produced by Sarah Sacks.  Sarah is a Wholebody Focusing Oriented Therapist, who works from her practice in St Kilda East, Melbourne.  Taking a holistic approach to counseling, Sarah works to empower her clients to find their own path to healing.)

    Go to Online BOOKING and book a FREE SKYPE session with Sarah Sacks, to learn more about how this practice could help you.

    If this content interests you, please sign up to our newsletter on the green "SIGN UP" button in the right.  And as always - feel free to share this content with your network.

    Comment

    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV

    The Power of Sharing Stories

    In our work we are constantly inspired by incredible growth and transformation that can happen in client's lives.  This month we invited our newsletter subscribers to submit their stories of growth.   With the hope that these stories may inspire you and others, we are publishing a selection of these stories to our blog.  

    But then, by chance we came across this incredible resource, that is offering a similar collective of inspiration, but on a much larger scale...be touched, be inspired, educate yourself and others, check out...The Mighty...

    If you would like to share your story of growth, please submit it to info@thegrovecounselling.com by June 30th.  Over the coming weeks, and only with your permission, you may be published.

    Wishing you growth in transformation, The Grove Team. 

    If you feel you would like to talk to someone about the potential of growth and transformation in your life, please contact us.

    If this content interests you, please sign up to our newsletter on the green "Sign Up" button in the right or lower tab.  And as always - feel free to share this content with your network.

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    Sarah Sacks

    Sarah is a qualified and experienced counsellor, meditation teacher and group facilitator. Sarah's years of body based based practices, in meditation and yoga, have led Sarah to believe in the inherent wisdom of the body. In line with this belief, Sarah has trained and qualified as a Whole Body Focusing Orientated Therapist, Transpersonal Counsellor, Holistic Counsellor, Meditation Teacher and Group Psychotherapy Facilitation. Over the last 5 years Sarah has worked in the not-for-profit sector, the community health sector and privately, as a generalist counsellor and group facilitator. Sarah has experience working with children, families and adults around issues of; isolation, anxiety, depression, grief, loss, trauma, anger, separation, addiction and general mental health. Sarah's warm and intuitive counselling style, along with her extensive life experience, enables Sarah to gently support her clients towards their own path of change. Qualifications - Bachelor of Holistic Counselling, Diploma of Transpersonal Counselling, Bachelor of Business (International Marketing & Trade), Diploma of Arts (Japanese), ACA (level 2), qualifying member for CAPAV